


Growth

by xVanitas



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Birth by Sleep - Freeform, Canon-Typical Violence, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Eventual Romance, Explicit Language, F/M, Fluff, Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Physical Abuse, Will add tags as I go, but he'll lighten up, learning to love, rating may change later, slight angst, vanitas is an asshole, vanitas needs some love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-21
Updated: 2019-03-18
Packaged: 2019-11-01 22:55:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 11,074
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17876324
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xVanitas/pseuds/xVanitas
Summary: Set roughly a year before the events of Birth by Sleep, (Y/N) is one of Eraqus's students when she is sent out to investigate the very first sightings of the Unversed. During her journey she involutarily teams up with a masked boy whose aura practically screams trouble.The destinies of a being of pure light and one of pure darkness intertwine; what could possibly go wrong?(A story I once wrote for myself with my OC but I decided to change it into a reader insert and share it. There aren't many Vanitas fanfics and I feel like my poor mistreated boi needs more)





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hey! Thanks for stopping by. This is my first fanfic and I'm a bit nervous to share it;; I am open for critiques and suggestions. Also, I apologize in advance for any grammatical errors, English is not my first language.
> 
> I have the first 7 chapters all written out, but I need to proof read them first, so they will come one at a time.
> 
> Enjoy!

Dust and dirt covered the ground as hot wind silently moved across the field, every so often taking sand and god knows what with it. The sun shone mercilessly onto the dry wasteland, shadows casting once every few meters, barely providing any cover from the hot sunrays. Somewhere amidst this sad landscape laid a motionless body; it could have been mistaken for a corpse if the rigged breathing and occasional grunts didn’t give away that this person was, indeed, alive. 

The figure eventually stirred and rose up to its knees. It was Vanitas, a being made from darkness and with a heart filled with only such. Black smoke emitted from him and spread into all directions, forming abstract creatures, which ventured off to distant worlds. An angry growl left his throat as he got up and stood tall on the wasteland, his movements creating cracking sounds on the dry ground. 

Once he had gathered enough strength, he summoned his keyblade and opened a dark tunnel. He was done pitying himself and instead decided to see how his ‘brother’ was doing. Deep down he knew that he was most likely doing better, that he was being surrounded by people who loved him but he hadn't given up hope on someday finding him suffering, too. He couldn't be the only one of the pair doomed to be in constant anguish, right?

He made his way through the corridor of darkness and once he had arrived at his destination, he stayed inside and just observed, unseen by anyone, just as he always did. 

He found his target surrounded by three other people- as usual. It seemed they had just finished training for the day and watched the sunset together while regaining their strengths.

It was a peaceful scene; Terra, Aqua and (Y/N) sat on the grassy ground, smiling up at the boy standing in front of them; Ventus.

He was laughing along with his friends and Vanitas could feel the joy radiating off of him.

He hated him.

He really fucking hated him.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A rather short chapter, sorry. However, I personally prefer not all chapters to be super long.  
> \---  
> Reader and Vanitas talk for the first time.  
> Also, Van is a stalker (a bad one, apparently).

Vanitas had wanted to stalk Ventus for a little longer, but something was off. The quieter girl of the bunch, (Y/N), stopped her laughing and turned her head towards his direction, the look on her face giving away that she knew something wasn’t quite right. Did she know he was there? That was impossible, no one could see him and he hadn’t made a single sound. He decided not to test his luck and that it would be better for him to return before Master Xehanort noticed his absence, anyway. He turned around and made his way back, he would have to come back again soon.  

 

 

Several days had passed since that incident and Vanitas found himself inside the dark corridors yet again, looking for his light counterpart. It was later in the evening and training has ended but he couldn’t seem to find him at the group’s usual spot. Thinking that he had probably retreated to his room, the masked boy peeked inside from within the darkness, however, the room was empty.

He was about to go look for him somewhere else when the door opened. Stepping in was not the boy he expected, though, it was the girl from the other day.  

She went to Ventus‘s bookshelf and placed a rather heavy book she was carrying in it. Pretty unspectacular. She turned to leave but stopped in her tracks.  

“Who are you?” 

So, she _did_ know he was there. A chuckle left his throat and he stepped out of dark corridor, making himself visible to her.  

“Gotta admit, I didn’t expect you to see me.” 

“I didn’t. Who are you?”, she repeated her question. 

“Well, who do you think I am?”, he challenged. 

“Are you one of these… dwellers of darkness?” 

“Dwellers…?”, he tilted his head in confusion. “You mean the Heartless?” 

She nodded. 

“You have never seen a Heartless before, have you?”, he asked. When she shook her head no, he started laughing “Some keyblade master-to-be you are.” 

“But you… Your heart contains only darkness, I can feel it. And you’re still human? How is that even possible?” She took a step closer and looked him up and down curiously. 

“Long story”, he simply answered.  

 

The girl just stared at him for a few seconds before she regained her composure. “Seriously, though, who are you? And why are you creeping around here?” 

“Sorry, (Y/N). Secret”, he held up a single finger to where his lips would be while opening a dark tunnel behind him and vanishing. 

“How do you know my name?”  

 

But he was gone.  


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Her meeting with the mysterious masked boy had left an impact on (Y/N) and she begins to question her Master's teachings.

(Y/N) pondered for the next few hours over the strange meeting with the masked boy from earlier. She probably should tell her master that someone who was obviously affiliated with the darkness was lurking around the castle. But for whatever reason, she didn’t. He was a being of pure darkness and she was taught to fear every trace of it since she was little. But this boy hadn’t scared her at all, she rather wanted to know more about this walking paradox. And as of now, he didn’t feel like a threat; if he had wanted to kill her, he could have done so already.

No, she wanted to keep this a secret and learn more about this boy. Master Eraqus only taught them the knowledge of light but (Y/N) wanted to learn about the dark, too. Without light, there is no darkness, and the other way around. 

Another day of training had passed and she and the other three students sat on their usual spot atop the hill and watched the stars. Terra and Ventus were arguing over something trivial again and (Y/N) had stopped listening a while ago.

Once the two had calmed down, she finally spoke up:

“Why do think Master Eraqus won’t teach us anything related to darkness?”

The other three keyblade wielders looked at her, taken aback by this rather random question.

“Why are you asking? Are you planning to switch sides?”, Ventus asked with a playful smile on his lips.

“No, of course not”, (Y/N) giggled. “I just think it’s weird. I thought light and dark belong together, yet we are supposed to fight the darkness in all worlds without even knowing anything about it. Don't you guys ever wonder about that?”

“To be honest, I have been wondering about this, too”, Terra said while leaning back on his hands. “He’s kept us save from anything darkness-related. We don’t even know what the heartless look like. And we are supposed to become keyblade masters?”

“I’m sure the master has his reasons”, Aqua stated. “Perhaps it’s better to just follow his teachings for now, I’m sure he will indulge us when he thinks we’re ready.”

“I guess you’re right…”, (Y/N) sighed in defeat, she wouldn’t get any further.

Ventus stood up and stretched. “Welp, I’m gonna go back inside and hit the hay. You guys coming?”

“Yep”, Terra and Aqua answered and followed him suit.

“I think I’m gonna stay here for a bit”, (Y/N) said, laying down onto the grass. 

“Alright, see you tomorrow”, the other three waved and made their way towards the castle.

The (h/c) girl sighed and looked at the night sky. Day and night were separated but the stars shone through the dark above her. 

“Questioning your master’s teachings? Ouch.”

(Y/N) shot up up and searched for the voice’s origin. The masked boy from a few days ago was standing behind her with his arms crossed in front of his chest.

“You again. Are you spying on me?”

“Nope. Well, kinda. I was spying on little Venven but he is so fucking boring with his perfect life served on a silver platter.”

Ah, so that was why he was lurking around in Ven’s room the other day. “Do you know Ven?”, (Y/N) asked.

“Oh, I know him.”

“Will you tell me how?

“No.”

“Hm”, (Y/N) turned her head back towards the stars. No one was going to answer any of her questions today, were they?

Vanitas sat down ungraciously next to her. His posture was loose, as if he didn’t care about a single thing in the world.

“Didn’t your master teach you to fear the darkness?”, he spoke up after a moment of silence. 

“He did”, the girl answered without averting her (e/c) orbs from the stars. 

“Then why are casually talking to me right now?”

“Because”, she finally turned her head to him. “I respect my master’s teachings but I want to have my own opinion. I can’t judge anything I don’t know. I feel like I’m being forced into the side of light.”

“Huh.”

“Do you fear the light?”

The masked boy threw his head back and laughed, the sound empty, devoid of any actual amusement. ‘’Naah. If anything, it disappoints me. All beings of light I met so far were boring. Spineless, not willing to risk anything or try something new. Saaad.’’

Even though this person didn’t seem to have any ill intentions, he was unsettling to look at and listen to. Something about him was off. Trying to ignore the apprehension growing inside her, she spoke up again; she wanted answers after all. ‘’Can I ask you a question?’’   
‘’Depends’’, was the boy’s monotone answer.

‘’If you think servants of light are boring, why are you lurking around this castle stalking one of them?’’

‘’Gotta make sure little Ventus is doing alright’’, was his reply as he ripped off some grass from the ground.

‘’Somehow I doubt this is your real intention.’’   
He threw the freshly picked grass over his shoulder. ‘’Smart girl.’’

‘’You're a keyblade wielder, too, right? I can feel it.’’

‘’Is this an interview? I thought we agreed on one question-’’, but it was too late. As soon as (Y/N) had asked her first questions, the others left her mouth like a waterfall.

‘’Are you in training? Do you have a master? Why are on the dark side? What is it like? Would you change to the light? Why the interest in Ventus of all people? What even is your name? Why-’’

Vanitas got annoyed and interrupted her rambling ''Will you just shut it??’’

(Y/N) fell silent after his outburst. She probably just blew her only chance of receiving some answers from him.

‘’Fucking hell’’, he stood up and stretched his arms. ‘’You ask too many questions you don’t want the answers to.’’   


‘’Sorry’’, the girl said quietly. ‘’There are just so many things I want to know and I don’t know where else I could find them out. And somehow, I don’t think I’m going to see you again, so I want to learn as much as I can.’’

‘’Oh, don’t you worry. We will meet again. Light and dark are destined to clash, after all’’, he said cracking his knuckles.

‘’But I don’t want to fight you. Or anyone for that matter’’, (Y/N) protested.

‘’Well that’s too bad’’, Vanitas lifted his hand and summoned another dark portal. ‘’It’s inevitable. It’s how it’s always been and always will be.’’ He started making his way into the portal when her voice stopped him.   
‘’Will you at least tell me your name so I know who I’m going to have to fight?’’

The masked boy shook his head and clicked his tongue in annoyance.

‘’Vanitas.’’

He left into the darkness and the portal disappeared.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Master Eraqus makes (Y/N) an offer she cannot refuse.

It had been about a month since Vanitas’s last visit to the Land of Departure and (Y/N) accepted that she wasn’t going to see him anytime soon. She hadn’t learned anything about the darkness from him, so it was back to square one. 

She was outside the castle and hitting some targets with her keyblade when a familiar voice caught her attention.

‘’(Y/N)’’

She turned around to see Aqua approaching her.

‘’What’s up?’’, she put her keyblade away and turned to her blue-haired friend.

‘’The master wants to speak to you’’, Aqua replied.

(Y/N) froze. Did he find out about everything? All sorts of questions and scenarios were running through her head but she snapped out of it when she noticed the other woman had started laughing.

‘’I can practically hear the cogs in your head turning. You need to stop panicking over little things.’’

‘’Right’’, (Y/N) answered sheepishly. ‘’Sorry. Thanks for telling me, I better not make him wait then.’’

Waving Aqua goodbye, she made her way into the castle. Despite her friend’s attempts to calm her down, she was panicking once again. She hadn’t done anything forbidden, had she? It’s not illegal wanting to learn more about darkness, right? Well, she didn’t tell anyone that there was a follower of the dark around the castle occasionally. But he didn’t do anything bad.... right?

She tried to calm herself down once she arrived at the entrance of the throne room. If master Eraqus hadn’t caught wind of anything yet, being nervous would only make him suspicious.

Eraqus turned to her as soon as he heard her approaching.   
‘’(Y/N), thank you for coming on such short notice.’’   
She bowed towards her teacher, ‘’Of course, master. What can I do for you?’’

‘’I have a special task for you. That is, if you accept doing it.’’

(Y/N) tilted her head in interest. ‘’What is it, master?’’

Eraqus beckoned her to him. Once she had stepped closer, he summoned a projection of a small, blue creature in front of them.

‘’What’s this?’’, (Y/N) questioned.

‘’No one knows for sure. People call them the ‘Unversed’. They started showing up in different worlds during the past couple of weeks and have been causing nothing but trouble. They are nothing I’ve ever seen before.... They seem to stem from darkness but they are neither Heartless, nor Nobodies.’’

‘’So, they are not after people’s hearts?’’, the (h/c) questioned and took a closer look at the creature. It was a deep blue and fidgeting as if in distress.

‘’No’’, Eraqus answered her question. ‘’They seem to be drawn to negative emotions and feed on them. But that doesn’t mean they aren’t dangerous. They come in all kinds of shapes and sizes and have caused several casualties. But that’s really all we know. I need someone to go out and learn more about them, first hand.’’   


Something in (Y/N)'s head clicked. Was this why she had been summoned? ‘’And you want me to do this?’’

‘’You’ve always been a quick thinker. Exactly.’’ Eraqus smiled at her.

‘’But why me? Wouldn’t Aqua or Terra be more suitable for this?’’

‘’Aqua and Terra’s mark of mastery exams are in the near future. I cannot afford them to lose focus on their training. As for Ven...’’, Erqaus sighed. ‘’He is not ready to face the outside world. But I know you are.’’

(Y/N) was quiet. Was this really happening? She’s been wanting to go out and visit other worlds for so long. Not to mention that without being under master Eraqus’s watchful eyes constantly, she could do some research herself.

‘’So’’, Eraqus spoke up again. ‘’What do you say? Are you accepting my request?’’

She didn’t have to think twice about it.

''I am.’’


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (Y/N)'s departure approaches quickly, so there isn't much time to say goodbye.

‘’No way!’’

Terra, Aqua and Ventus’s jaws dropped once (Y/N) told them of her upcoming mission. Although they were a bit jealous they didn’t get to see other worlds yet, they knew their time would come, too. But most of all, they were excited for her that she got this chance.

‘'Isn’t this going to be dangerous, though?’’, Terra asked, concern clear on his face.

‘’Well, not if I do my job right. I’m only supposed to do reckon and collect data, ‘engage only if absolutely necessary’’’, (Y/N) quoted master Eraqus’s words.

‘’You’ve been training really hard, (Y/N). I hope you’ll stay out of trouble but I know that if needed, you can fight and defend yourself’’, Aqua said, smiling at her. ‘’The master knows, too, otherwise he wouldn’t have given this mission to you.’’   
(Y/N) blushed at her friend’s compliment. ‘’I guess... Thanks.’’

‘’You’ll have so many cool stories to tell. Once you’re back, I wanna hear them all!’’, Ven exclaimed excitedly. ‘’By the way... When are you going to leave?’’

‘’Well, the master wants to fill me in on a few more details, so most likely the day after tomorrow.’’   
‘’So soon?’’, Ven’s excitement died down as he looked onto the ground sadly.

‘’I’m afraid so. And I don’t know for how long I’ll be gone’’, (Y/N) smiled at him weakly. She was excited for this trip, but she was going to miss her friends. They have been training together for so long, they had long become her family. But she also knew this wasn’t a goodbye forever.

‘’Just promise you’ll be careful, okay?’’, Aqua asked, ever being the mom-friend.

‘’I will.’’

‘’And once you’re back, Aqua and I will be keyblade masters’’, Terra exclaimed, putting his hand on her shoulder, assuring.

‘’I don’t think I will be gone  _that_ long’’, (Y/N) chuckled. ‘’But either way, I’m sure the both of you are going to pass with flying colors.’’ 

The next day (Y/N) spent most of her time with master Eraqus. He told her everything she had to know; the world order, her keyblade armor, the Lanes Between, yadda yadda. She had a hard time keeping up, so she made detailed notes she would take with her. When first accepting this mission, she hadn’t realized just how many things she had to consider. 

Once the tutoring was done, she felt more exhausted than after most of her physical training. 

Once it was evening, she went to the usual spot to meet with Terra, Aqua and Ventus.

This night wasn’t much different from the others but the upcoming departure did dampen the mood. It was almost bittersweet, laughing with her friends, knowing that this would be their last night together for quite a while.

They all agreed to meet the next morning and see (Y/N) off, something Ventus insisted on. (Y/N) knew she was going to have troubles keeping her emotions at bay if they all showed up to wish her farewell, but she also knew she’d regret it, if she said no.

When it was time to go to bed, Terra and Ven went on back to the castle. (Y/N) was about to follow but was held back by Aqua.   
‘’(Y/N), wait. I wanted to give you this’’, she pulled out a star shaped ornament with silver-framed purple glass. ‘’I heard about this world where this star-shaped fruit grows on trees. If people share it, their destinies become intertwined and they will always find back to each other.’’

(Y/N) looked at the ornament in awe. ‘’Aqua, did you make this yourself?’’   
‘’I did’’, Aqua smiled and placed the object in the younger girl's hands. ‘’Consider this a wayfinder. If you ever miss us or home, just hold onto it. No matter what happens, we’ll always find back to each other.’’   
‘’I don’t know what to say... Thank you, Aqua. I’ll hold onto this’’, (Y/N) promised wiping away a single tear.

Aqua put her hand on the smaller girl’s head. ‘’Don’t tell Terra or Ven, but I made them one, too. I’m not going to give them to them before the exam, though. But remember that we all have one and we’ll be together as long as we do, no matter the distance between us.’’

The next morning came by sooner than anticipated and everyone had gathered on the main field to see (Y/N) off. Eraqus hugged her and assured her that she had his faith and if anything should happen, she had her means to contact him and he’d come to her help immediately. She trusted his words, he was like a father to all four of them and always there for them if needed.

Then Ven tackled her into a tight hug, wishing her all the good luck in the world. 

‘’Come back safe, okay? I wanna hear  _all_ your stories. Promise?’’ He looked genuinely sad about her departure. 

She smiled sadly at him, if this kept going on, she would most definitely cry.  ‘’I promise, Ven.’’

Once she let go off him, Aqua ad Terra respectively took their turns hugging her goodbye. It was only then that she realized how lonely she was going to be; Terra and Aqua were like a big brother and sister to her, having to continue without their help would be hard. And the lack of Ven’s laughter and goofiness would leave a whole that could not be filled. 

To her surprise, (Y/N) managed to hold back most of her tears but that didn’t make it any easier.

She activated her keyblade armor and glider, took a deep breath and opened a portal with her keyblade. Jumping onto her glider (which was similar to Terra, a bike-like vehicle), she took off and entered the Lanes Between, leaving her home and family behind.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (Y/N) encoounters the first Unversed on her journal and chases them down.
> 
> (Italics are thoughts/inner dialogues)
> 
> We've reached a hit on the main plot of the story, yay! I've had this idea since I read the BBS novel. I hope I can actually pull this off haha. Also, I don't like writing exposition, sorry if this feels dull. 
> 
> (Some info regarding the canon story in the end notes.)
> 
> (Also, I have no idea why in the original BBS, the Unversed were blue, then in 2.5 they were purple and in KH3 they're blue again?? Like what is their color?? Nomura, make up your mind pls. I decided to go with blue, since this was their first and current design.)

“Where to?”

Now that she had finally reached the Lanes Between, (Y/N) had no idea where to go. The options were seemingly limitless, so making a decision was harder than she thought. In the end she decided to just go to the first world that came across. She could see several other worlds in the distance, so if the world she landed on turned out to be a bust, she had plenty of backup.

Once she was close enough, she dove into the light and entered the atmosphere. She read that whenever someone from outside entered another world, this person would look like a shooting star from afar. People wished on shooting stars, right? Maybe someone was wishing something on her right now. What a weird concept, how would she make some stranger’s wish she didn’t even know the contents of, come true? She used to wish upon stars as well but that was before she knew the truth behind them. Sometimes being oblivious is a privilege, she guessed. 

Upon touching the ground, she removed her keyblade armor. Master Eraqus made sure that (Y/N)'s magic helped her appearance adapt to whatever world she was in. She didn’t want to seem out of place and raise suspicions, after all.  Her clothes didn’t change however, so wherever she was, this place couldn’t be much different from her home. At least she hoped so.

She looked around and found herself in a forest, a rather gloomy one at that. It was cold, dark and foggy and at first glance, the trees could easily be mistaken for big creatures lurking in the shadows. Not a welcoming place. She didn’t expect the first thing to see outside her home world to be this unsettling.

_Well, no use standing here. There has to be more to this place than just... this._

After venturing through the woods for a while, (Y/N) saw light shining faintly in the distance. Thinking this was a clearing, she sped up and made her way towards it. 

It was indeed a clearing and the sight here was a lot more welcoming. A creek was running at her feet and a small bridge lead over it. On the other side was a patch of green with all kinds of flowers growing on it. In the center stood a cottage; simple yet comfy looking. 

Curiously, (Y/N) crossed the bridge and made her way to the house. Was it just her or was everything in this world small? 

Maybe she would find out more about this place, if she talked to whoever lived here. Thinking this was her best option, she went to the door and knocked. Silence. She knocked again, a little louder this time. Still no response. 

_I guess the owner isn’t home right now?_

Well that didn’t get her anywhere. While contemplating on what to do now, she saw a flash of blue in her peripheral vision. Was this one of those Unversed?

If it was one of them, she had to make sure it wasn’t going to cause any trouble and see if she can find out anything about it.

Nodding to herself, (Y/N) took off to the direction she saw it heading to.

Reaching another flower field, she saw it again. It wasn’t a distinctive shape, it was just a blue blob. Trying not to lose sight of it, she sped up and followed it into another forest.

This one was less scary cleared up a lost faster than the first one, and she soon found herself in a rocky landscape. Light brown canyons stretched before her, wheelbarrows, shovels and pickaxes laying around here and there. 

_Looks like someone is mining something here._

Much to her dismay, she had lost track of the Unversed, so she began looking around again. Eventually she saw a cave entrance at a dead end and a couple of funnily dressed little men sorting colorful stones into buckets. 

_Ah, so they are gem cutters. And judging by their small size I bet they are the ones who live in that cottage from earlier. But if there are Unversed here, these people could be in danger._

(Y/N) decided to question those men later, right now she had to find that Unversed again and make sure everyone was safe.

It didn’t take long until she found the culprit; The blob was circling on the ground and stopped as soon as she stepped closer. Its shape started to shift until it had formed a head, arms and legs. This was definitely one of those creatures Eraqus showed her. It was pretty small and looked like a hybrid of a cat and rabbit. Hadn’t she known what it was, she would have considered it cute and attempted to pet it.

She summoned her keyblade and stared at it.

_What now?_

She hadn’t really planned this far ahead. What was she supposed to do? Defeat it? But that wouldn’t get her anywhere. It’s not like she could just talk to it. Or was it?

“Uhm... Hi?”

She didn’t expect any reply but was still disappointed when she got none. The creature just stood there, twitching and shifting uncontrollably. Just looking at it made (Y/N) uneasy; whatever this thing was doing, she swore she could feel loneliness and hurt seep from it.

Was it really lonely? It wasn’t attacking her right now, maybe it didn’t have any ill intentions after all. 

Putting away her keyblade, she knelt down and slowly reached out her hand towards it to indicate that she didn’t plan on hurting it. 

“Hey, it’s okay. Are you all alone out here?”

As if answering her question, a swarm of blue blobs rushed to where she stood and circled her. They shape shifted just like the other one had, however these ones were bigger and not as cute. 

Alerted, (Y/N) summoned her keyblade once again and took a fighting stance.

She was supposed to kill them but she couldn’t find herself moving; it didn’t feel like the right thing to do. 

The Unversed seemed to sense her conflict and began attacking her. She blocked everything she could but eventually was pushed onto the ground. This wasn’t going to work. 

They wanted to fight. They were aggressive, their bright red eyes put emphasis on that. She _had_ to fight them. Defeat them all, every last one of them. This was what she had been training for for years. It was for the greater good.

(Y/N) got up and when one of the Unversed jumped at her, she dodged it and hit it with her keyblade, cutting though it’s mass with ease. It evaporated into dark blue, almost black smoke. 

Adrenaline rushed through her veins; this wasn’t like her training. This was real. Killing these Unversed didn’t feel right but she was determined to follow her master’s orders, so she fought and destroyed every one of them.

Once the last one vanished, she inhaled deeply and wiped sweat off of her forehead. It wasn’t that she broke a sweat because she was exhausted; it was more the pressure of actually killing these things. They were the bad guys, why did she struggle so much?

She stopped. Something was still moving. It was the small cat-rabbit-like Unversed she had initially followed here. It was alive but seemed badly hurt, a cut on its belly emitted black smoke. It wasn’t going to last much longer.

Guilt immediately overtook (Y/N) as she watched the Unversed crawl on the ground in obvious pain. 

“I... I’m so sorry...! Let me help you...!”, she stepped closer but cat-rabbit backed off.

A dark portal opened behind it and it rushed inside.

(Y/N) didn't hesitate and followed in into the abyss.

 

Wherever she was right now, it didn’t feel right. The inside of the portal was a dark hallway devoid of any form of life. It was cold and while she was shivering, (Y/N) could feel the darkness trying to creep into her heart. This was a bad idea. Before she could even activate her keyblade armor, an opening appeared in front of her and she saw the little Unversed run into it. She followed suit and immediately felt relieved once she wasn’t inside that dark place anymore.

Not that her new location was any more inviting.

She found herself in a desert with canyons and rocks emerging from the ground every now and then. Similar to the gem cutter place she has just been to, but not as happy-go-lucky. 

Remembering why she came here in the first place, she looked around for the Unversed. She found it a few meters to her right, lying on the ground, twitching every so often. 

(Y/N) approached it and knelt down. It was dying, there was no way to sugarcoat this. And it was her fault.

Tears well up in her eyes and she slowly reached out for it once more. 

“I didn’t want this... But you attacked me...! I’m so sorry.”   
Too weak to try to escape her, the Unversed didn’t so much as flinch once she touched it. She carefully lifted it up and brought it to her chest, cradling it there.

“I’m so sorry...”, she repeated as her tears fell and landed on the blue creature’s tiny head.

It was still in pain, obviously, but the other negative emotions it emitted earlier seemed to be gone. She smiled, she didn’t want it to go with only negativity being the last thing it felt.

“It’s okay now. I don’t know why you felt it, but you’re free from your pain now”, she said as she started petting it’s head tenderly.

“I wish I could have helped you but I don’t know how...”   
Opening her eyes to look back at it, her jaw dropped slightly when she realized that its color had changed. It was now a light baby blue and its eyes turned into a soft brown. That was strange. That didn’t happen to the other ones she had killed.

Her train of thought was interrupted when the black smoke overtook its whole body and it evaporated in her arms. It was gone.

Vanitas’s p.o.v.

Vanitas had just endured another one of his master’s ‘treatments’. He was sitting on the dry ground in the Badlands, catching his breath when he felt it.

Someone entered this world, someone who didn’t belong here. Whoever it was, they were filled with light. A ‘tch’ left his mouth in disgust and he got up and followed the light’s trail to investigate.

He stood on top of a cliff when he saw the (Y/N), the last person he expected to see here.

She was hunched over and... Crying? Pathetic. 

She apologized to someone and it was just then that he noticed an Unversed in her arms. She was hugging it? And apologizing to it? It took him every fiber of his body to not burst out laughing.

What stopped his amusement was the fact the Unversed was changing its color. That was not supposed to happen.

He squinted his eyes to make sure he wasn’t just imagining things, but nope, it really did change color.

What had this idiot girl done to cause this?

The tiny Unversed eventually vanished and, unbeknownst to (Y/N), the black cloud made its way back to its source; Vanitas.

He prepared for the usual pain that followed this. This would go on and on forever, wouldn’t it?

The pain did come, as expected. However, what followed after, left him wide-eyed. Relief, comfort and content rushed through him, emotions he had never felt before.

It was too overwhelming, he lost balance and fell onto his knees, his right hand grabbing his chest.

Tears built up in his eyes, tears of joy? Was it joy? It definitely wasn’t pain.

What the hell was going on?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In the BBS novel, it has been established that once an Unversed is deafeted, it return to Vanitas and make him feel everything it felt while dying, thus creating more Unversed from this pain. :) Isn't that nice. 
> 
> Thought I'd mention that for clarification, since this will be important for the story later on.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (Y/N) is having an existential crisis and Van doesn't know how to handle emotions, so he resorts to the only thing he knows: violence.
> 
> Trigger warning: chocking, suffocation. It's not tooo bad but I thought I'd mention it. 
> 
> (This is the last chapter I had already written out. Idk how frequent updates will be from now on but I'll try my best to update as often as possible)

It took (Y/N) a few Moments before she regained her composure. This wasn’t just about killing the Unversed anymore; she was beginning to question  _everything._

Before she could dwell on it any more, a loud sound and a gush of wind coming from behind her brought her back to reality.

She quickly turned around, senses on alert but relaxed when she saw a familiar face... well, a mask, rather.

She smiled at him.

“Vanita-”

She was cut off when he lunged at her, hand on her throat and shoved her into the nearest wall.

“What have you done?”, he asked, anger lacing his usually monotone voice,

Even if she wanted to reply, she couldn’t. His hand cut off her tubes, preventing air from reaching her lungs. Tears built up in her eyes as she clung onto his hand, desperately trying to pry it off, but to no avail. 

“I... Didn’t - want to...-”, (Y/N) tried to speak but the pressure on her throat forbade her to.

Growing impatient, Vanitas withdrew his hand and let her fall to the ground. She immediately started coughing and gasping for air. Under any other circumstances, he would have thoroughly enjoyed seeing her in pain, but his mind was somewhere else right now.

“What. Have. You. Done.”, he repeated, the words hissing through his teeth.

“I didn’t want to kill it...! I’m sorry! It attacked me and I- I didn’t know what to do!”, tears left her eyes once again.

“I don’t care about that”, he stepped closer and kicked her over. Once she was on her back, he put his right foot on her shoulder and leaned down to her. (Y/N) screamed in pain and grabbed his ankle, but once again, she was too weak to have any effect on it.

“How did you make it change color?”, he specified his question but purposefully left out the part about the unusual emotions that had reached him.

This question made (Y/N) cease her struggle. That was what he was questioning? Not why she killed it?

‘’I don’t know, it just happened. The others I defeated didn’t change color", she answered truthfully. "I take it it’s not normal, then?” 

“No”, he stated monotonously and added more pressure on her shoulder.

“OW! Can you stop that?? If you just want to talk, you don’t have to be such a jerk about it!”, she blurted out. This was not like any of the awkward but peaceful talks they had shared before. Right now, he genuinely scared her. Whatever was going on behind that mask of his, it led to raw and brute force.

“People tend not to talk unless threatened”, was his reply.

“We’ve talked before, why wouldn’t I now?”

“Oh, right. Let's talk about it over a cup of tea and some buscuits, shall we?" More pressure. "You would have just answered me if I asked nicely. My bad.” Sarcasm was dripping off his voice.

“I would have. Have I not done so before?”, she retorted.

That made him pause. She had, actually. He wasn’t used to people willingly and honestly talking to him, so that fact had flown right over his head. Huh.

“Have it your way”, he said as he removed his foot from her.

“Thank you”, she sat up and massaged her shoulder to ease the pain. This was going to leave a mark.

Vanitas tilted his head at that. Why would she thank him for that? She was strange.

“So”, (Y/N) began. “I thought you were mad at me for killing it. But you only care about the color change?”

“Everyone kills the Unversed. But they usually don’t cry over it or cradle them in their arms. Are you retarded? You know these things can and will kill you."

“As I said”, (Y/N) took in a deep breath. “I didn’t _want_ to kill it. But it attacked me along with some others. I felt bad when I saw it hurt because of me... I just wanted to help it...”   
“Why would you want to help an Unversed?”, he asked, his voice at the brink of laughter.

(Y/N) thought for a moment. Why had she wanted to help it? Her reply came naturally: “It was in pain. Not just physically. It already was before I fought it. I couldn’t just let it die like that! No one should have to suffer like this...”

“So, you also humiliated it by treating it up like a baby?”, he continued her story.

“No!”, she stopped him before he could go on. “Have you never heard about compassion? Say what you will, but I know it felt better once I provided it some.”

She was right, he had felt it himself, after all. The physical pain resided but the emotional one was gone. But there was no way he would admit that to her.

However, that did give him and idea on what had happened.

“This is ridiculous”, was all he said as he turned away and teleported somewhere else, leaving (Y/N) alone on the wasteland.

Said girl rubbed her sore throat as she sat in silence on the dry ground. Whatever just happened, it has left her even more confused than before.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (Y/N) returns to the Dwarf Woodlands to see if there are still Unversed.
> 
> (sorry if the formatting is a bit weird, something went wrong when pasting this in the aooo uploader :/ I tried to fix as much as possible but I wouldn't be surprised if I missed anything haha)

(Y/N) was still on the ground. How much time had passed? She had left home less than 24 hours ago and experienced more things than she thought she could handle.    
For the past couple of years, she wanted nothing more than to finally see other worlds. She would work hard every day just to prepare for the day that wish finally came true . But now… she wanted nothing more  than  to go back home and crawl into her bed.    
  
With a heavy sigh, she eventually pushed herself off the ground. Turning around she spotted the wall behind her; there was a crack where Vanitas had slammed her into it. The force he used was obvious, how was she not having a headache?   
A lump formed in her throat. No one had ever attacked he like this and it scared her. _He_ scared her. She knew they were on different sides and that she couldn’t call him a friend. But she hadn’t expected to call him a foe, either.    
  
She needed to leave this place, now.    


  
  
  
Relief washed through (Y/N)’s body once she was back in front of the mine. Sure, it was surrounded by creepy woods but  at least it was a place she recognized. It was a small comfort, but a comfort non-the-less.   
She pushed the previous events into the back of her mind, this wasn’t the right time to drown in them. If there were still Unversed in this world, she’d have to get rid of them. Preferably by not killing them, mind you. How else, she didn’t know. She would worry about it later.   
  
Approaching the mine’s entrance, she didn’t see any signs of the Unversed. Good.   
One of the small men was outside, pushing a wheelbarrow filled with colorful gems in front  of  him.    
(Y/N) spoke up:   
“ Uhm, e xcuse me?”   
  
The man jumped in surprise and dropped the wooden handles he was just grabbing onto the ground.    
“Goodness! You  sure  scared me, ma’am!”   
Whoops. “I’m sorry”, she apologized. “That was not my intention”   
The little miner  wore a red tunic, brown pants, a small pair of glasses and a hat. He removed the latter  and held it firmly in his hands.   
“It’s quite alright. We merely aren’t used to  integers- I mean  visitors. Not many people dare enter the forest, you know. Anyway, the name’s Doc. What brings you here?”, Doc replied.   
“Oh, I…” how should she phrase this?  _Remember the world order_ ,  the back of her mind screamed. “I'm (Y/N) and I am venturing the woods because there have been sightings of strange, blue creatures. I’ve been tracking them down when I came across a house. I thought it would be best to warn whomever lives  in  there and then I ran into you.” She laughed nervously as Doc just stared at her in confusion. She was a bad liar and hoped that her awkward behavior wouldn’t cause any suspicions.   
  
“Well, I’m afraid I have never seen any blue  teachers in these hoods. I-I mean creatures in these woods”, Doc told her after a few moments of awkward silence.    
  
That was a good sign, right? Were the ones she had fought the first ones in this world? Was she able to get rid of them before they were able to spread and cause any real harm?   
She realized she was taking too long to answer when he stared at her again, awaiting a reply of some sort.    
“That’s good! There’s a chance they avoided this part of the forest but you should stay on guard, just to be sure. If you happen to come across any of them, please be careful and hide. I would advise  to avoid  confrontation unless absolutely necessary. And please, if you do happen to spot any, tell me right away the next time we see each other.”   
She bowed her upper body in respect and left.   
That hadn’t been too bad, had it? He should have gotten the point and (Y/N) would come back here soon, to see if everything is still alright.   
Feeling like she couldn’t do much more in this world right now, she decided to visit the next one.   
  
.   
.   
.   
  
Neither (Y/N), nor Doc had noticed the figure in black sitting on top of a close-by cliff  that  listened to the conversation.   
_ She has no idea what she’s doing, has she? _ Vanitas thought to himself  as he  follo wed  the awkward exchange.    
He raised his eyebrow behind his mask when he heard her say not to attack the Unversed. Could she really be that dense?    
He decided to follow her at least for a bit in hopes of understanding what had happened earlier. But this girl was giving more questions than answers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You have no idea how much trouble the next two chapters caused me. But I finished them! I have to edit a few things but yayyy.  
> Also I feel like I should mention that I just recently started writing (I'm more into drawing heh), so I'm afraid I still make many mistakes.  
> But THANK YOU for sticking around so far! I'm really happy to see people seem to like this story ;A; .


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (Y/N) explores Radiant Garden and faces familiar figures.
> 
> This chapter is a bit longer! And btw the mentioned cat-like Unversed is supposed to be a Flood, in case that was still unclear;; I love them, they're the cutest <3

Stars passed (Y/N) as she maneuvered through the Lanes Between. Her eyes grew heavy and she decided no matter the world she landed on next, she would find a place to rest as soon as possible. 

Once a new world appeared before her, she set into dive mode and entered it, the only thing in her mind being a bed. Hopefully she wouldn’t end up in another creepy forest, or the wish of comfortable sleep would be would be nipped in the bud. 

 

To her surprise, the place she landed on was nothing like the previous one; Before her lay a big busy city filled with people and life. She was standing in the center of what seemed to be a market place and the mere existence of modern houses instantly made her feel less lonely. 

A tired sigh left (Y/N)'s lips as she started her journey for a place to stay. Flowers and small fountains were scattered across the whole place and when she eventually turned a corner, she came across a clearing which offered the undisturbed view of an enormous castle. It was surrounded by walls and a neat gate as it stood proudly on a hill, easily marking the highest spot in town. 

 

Yep, wherever she was, this place was definitely more what she was used to. Among a row of houses, she spotted a sign on one of the buildings which read “Radiant Garden Inn”.  _Perfect._  

The sun had already started to set when she arrived, so the air got significantly colder with each passing minute. 

(Y/N) didn’t waste any time, and went in and rented a room for the night. She had taken some munny with her before leaving the Land of Departure to help her get around. While her initial plan was to spend most nights underneath the stars, she felt like after today’s events, she deserved at least a warm bed. 

The woman at the front desk handed her the keys to her room and she ascended upstairs. The room was small but it had the bare necessities; a bed, desk and a small bathroom attached. It was more than enough for her, she honestly wouldn’t have minded sleeping on a small and dusty couch at this point. 

The moment her head hit the pillow, she was out. 

. 

. 

The next morning, (Y/N) woke up well rested but still earlier than usual. Going back asleep was impossible as too many thoughts were racing through her head. She thought about ignoring them and go outside instead, but decided against in the end. She had kept pushing them back since entering the Lanes Between the prior day and she decided it was time to evaluate them. 

She summarized: 

  * She ran into Unversed, as predicted 
  * The Unversed were supposed to be a threat, but she found herself struggling to fight them 
  * One of them changed colors, something that seemed unusual 
  * And now on top of that, Vanitas showed up after weeks and attacker her 



 

(Y/N) turned onto her back, sighing. This was weird. The timing of Vanitas’s reappearance was suspicious and he seemed to know more about the Unversed than he let on. Was he connected to them? If so, would that make everything easier or more complicated? She had a feeling it was the latter.

 

Another sigh. She got up and started to get ready. She knew just sitting around wouldn’t get her anywhere, so she decided to actually do something. 

There was a high chance that she would run into more Unversed, but she pushed her fears aside. She trusted Eraqus and he was trusting her to complete this mission in turn. She was alone and away from home, so in a moment of weakness, she started questioning him. That’s all it was. She had made up her mind to destroy every Unversed, Heartless or whatever creature, if it meant bringing the worlds peace. The city seemed to be well populated, so with every person that lived here also came one possible victim to the Unversed; they needed protection. 

It was her duty as a keyblade wielder. 

 

 

After grabbing something for breakfast, she made her way through the town. She would do the same thing she did in the previous world she visited: look around for Unversed, listen into conversations and maybe talk to people to find some clues. 

It was still early in the morning, so there weren’t many people on the streets yet, which made lurking around a bit easier and less suspicious. 

The starting point would be the market place. (Y/N) would start there and then work through all areas of the city.  

But even after hours of looking, nothing seemed unusual in any of the areas she searched through. And the ones after. And the ones after that. 

 

Did she miss something? Master Eraqus said that the Unversed were starting to become a plague but on her entire journey she came across, what, six in total? Had he exaggerated? Had she landed on the wrong worlds? 

Frustration started to settle and she angrily kicked a stone in front of her. It landed in front of the entrance to the outer gardens, an area she hadn’t covered yet. 

 _Might as well go there._  

 

The outer gardens where huge. Fountains and water surrounded the area, which eventually fell off the edge of town and into the void below in the form of waterfalls. It was beautiful and even though (Y/N) was used to floating islands, this was something else. This whole world was a metaphor for light; Everything was colorful, bright, beautiful and even smelled heavenly due to the flowers. The people seemed happy and everything was perfect. 

(Y/N) leaned against a wall and slumped onto the ground. The Unversed were drawn to negative emotions, so why would they show up here in paradise? She really was in the wrong world. 

 

Her train of thought stopped when she saw something move in her peripheral vision. When she entered, she was the only one here; maybe it was someone she could interrogate. But upon turning her head, she was facing a familiar blue blob. It was the Unversed from yesterday; well, at least the same cat-like kind.  

(Y/N) stayed in her place, afraid that moving would cause it to attack. Hadn’t she just decided to push her doubts aside and do her job? Now she was avoiding battle yet again. What would her master think of her? 

So much for the ‘duty as a keyblade wielder’. 

 

She turned to sit on her knees and stared at it. It just stared back, twitching every so often. 

She knew it was stupid and most of all, not what she told herself to do, but she beckoned the creature towards her with her right hand, the same way she did the other day. 

It hesitated and eventually took a step back. (Y/N) thought about what to do as normal ways of communication seemed almost impossible. She remembered a book she read long ago, which stated that hearts could cross borders beyond distance, physics and language.  _May your heart be your guiding key_. She heard her master utter these words years ago and completely forgot about them until now. It felt right, though, and something clicked in her head and she decided it was worth a try. 

 

She closed her eyes and her brows furrowed lightly as she tried to open her heart and convey calmness to it, reassurance that she was no threat. It took a few moments but eventually, it started approaching her. Stopping every once-in-a-while to sniff the ground and look at her questioningly. 

(Y/N) finally opened her eyes once she felt something touch her outstretched hand and found the Unversed rubbing its tiny head on it. 

She smiled in relief, it worked! Would it work the other way around, too? She decided to push her luck and called out for it again. 

 

 _Tell me how you feel._  

 

The Unversed looked at her in silence but soon enough its emotions started to reach her: jealousy, hatred and most prominently, pain and loneliness. 

Having someone else’s emotions projected onto her took a toll on her, however, and a pain shot through her head. She lifted her left hand to her face and covered the left side of it with in an attempt to ease the pain. 

“Why are you hurting so much?”, she shakily asked out loud, even though she knew she wouldn’t receive an answer. Instead the Unversed curled up on her lap and she scratched its head carefully, smiling down at it.  

Then it happened again; the deep blue of its skin lightened up to a baby blueish tone and the Unversed relaxed in her hold. Questions shot through (Y/N)'s head, trying to understand what was happening but she decided not to care right now and just enjoy the fact that she was able to help. And this time, the Unversed was not dying.  

It was a peaceful moment, one that got interrupted by an object being thrown forcefully onto the ground, just a few centimeters next to her. 

 

(Y/N) jumped and let out a small scream whilst scrambling a few feet away from the impact area, the Unversed still in her arms. A keyblade was stuck in the ground, an uncommon one at that. The base was grey but the handle and top were black and red and chains adorned its frame. It looked dangerous. 

(Y/N) barely had any time to process everything when a figure clad in black landed in front of mentioned keyblade, grabbed it and pulled it out of the ground. 

A black visor turned to face her, posture relaxed. It was Vanitas. 

 

“You don’t quit, do you?” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have mixed feelings about this chapter. Describing landscapes is definately not my strongpoint but I hope it's not too terrible to read. I'm more the conversationalist. (well, not irl but more when it comes to writing dialogues;;; )
> 
> However, now we've finally come to a point where we MAYBE PERHAPS EVENTUALLY get some answers? >:3c I'm actully looking forward to writing the next chapters, hehe.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's time Vanitas answers some of (Y/N)'s questions.

Vanitas readied his keyblade and strode towards (Y/N), while reaching for the Unversed in her arms with his free hand. (Y/N) turned away from him and shielded the small creature with her body.   
“Leave it alone!” 

“Oh, come on”, he sighed in annoyance. “This doesn’t belong to you.” 

“It’s a living being, it doesn’t belong to anyone”, (Y/N) retorted. 

Vanitas snapped his fingers and the Unversed wriggled itself out of her grasp. (Y/N) tried to stop it but before she could catch it, it was already nested on the boy’s shoulder. 

“What-”  

She wasn’t able to finish her question as his hand went to the Unversed’s neck and grabbed it, lifting it up before her. 

“Stop, you’re hurting it!”, she begged him but he only laughed in response. 

“You have no right to do this!”, she called for him again and this time he reacted; his head turned to her and the grip on the Unversed tightened. 

“I have ** _every_ **right to do this”, he spit back. “You have no idea what you’re dealing with here.” 

“Then tell me!” 

“How about this”, he threw the Unversed into her lap. “You tell me what you did to this Flood and I’ll tell you.” 

 

(Y/N) cradled the ‘Flood’ in her arms and looked at him angrily. 

“I can’t tell you more than I already have last time. I reached out to it and it responded. We had a nice little moment until you literally crashed it.” 

The masked boy didn’t answer and just stared at her in silence. (Y/N) soon grew uncomfortable and spoke up again: 

“So, its name is Flood?” 

“No. This kind of Unversed is called Flood”, he replied coldly. 

“I’ve answered your question. Would you mind telling me what’s going on? You have something to do with the Unversed, don’t you?” 

“Perceptive. Fine, I’ll give you the short version”, Vanitas put away his keyblade and leaned onto the wall next to them with his right shoulder. “The Unversed come from me and once they die, they return to me. Happy?” 

“Waitwaitwait”, (Y/N)'s eyes widened. “What do you mean ‘come from you’? Like, you made them?” 

“Why did I agree to this...”, Vanitas sighed heavily and threw his head back into the wall. “If you must know, they’re my emotions given form. I don't always have control over them spawning.” 

 

(Y/N) fell silent at that. The Unversed she fought were his emotions. That would mean that all the sadness, pain, and loneliness; all these negative emotions she felt in them were actually his? Her anger toward the boy subsided and was replaced but pity. What could cause so much pain in one person?

She looked down at the Flood in her arms. 

“Then what happened to this one?”, she finally spoke up. 

“You happened”, he replied and (Y/N) looked up at him confused. 

“What?”. 

“My guess is that you like....", he was waving his hand, looking for the right word that made sure she understood what he was trying to say. "... like you reprogrammed it. Made it feel something it never felt before and wasn’t supposed to feel." He almost sounded disgusted at having to say this out loud. "But I don’t know for sure.”

“They change color depending on their feelings?", (Y/N) asked for clarification. 

“I guess so”, Vanitas shrugged his shoulder. 

“What do you mean ‘guess’? Shouldn’t you know, if they’re you?”   
“The Unversed usually don’t live long enough to experience any other kinds of emotions than the ones they’re born from. I send them off into other worlds and as soon as they come into contact with other lifeforms, they are killed by them immediately. You are the first one stupid enough to not do so”, he threw his hands up in the air while talking. Why did this have to happen? He had enough problems as it was. 

 

“So, you are behind the attacks...”, (Y/N) concluded. This was too much input at once. 

“Yup”, he Vanitas chimed. “And this world will hold the next one.” 

“I thought your Unversed feed off negative emotions. Everyone’s happy here”, (Y/N) retorted. This caused Vanitas to start laughing, the sound being cold and causing a chill to run down (Y/N)'s back. 

 

“You are unbearably naïve”, he told her once he calmed down. “You haven’t looked closer into things, have you? This world is just as bad as any other; people fighting, starving, suffering. Crime and death are the daily norm. And don’t get me started on the human experiments in the castle! That’s some really messed up shit. Negativity is bound to show up, if there are humans around. Trust me, there’s enough for me to work with here.” 

 

"You know”, he eventually pushed himself off the wall. “I was hoping you were more interesting with your ‘questioning your master’- antics. Turns out you’re just another one of those losers who can’t do no wrong and refuse to see the world for what it really is. People like you are the reason why darkness will prevail over light in the end. I’m outta here.” 

Vanitas turned his back to her and started to leave, when her voice stopped him. 

 

“Show me.” (Y/N) stood up with the Unversed in still in her arms. “I want to know what’s really going on. I’ve only heard one side of the story, I think it’s time I heard the other.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone! I have no idea how often I rewrote this chapter. Just last chapter I said I prefer writing dialogues and while I didn't have any problems with them per se but I feel it's too much dialogue?? 
> 
> Anyways, Vanitas finally spilled some beans but certainly not all. >:3c
> 
> Also I want to thank everyone for the support! I'm a bit overwhelmed by all your nice comments and kudos, etc ;A; I'm still a bit insecure about publishing this story but you are all helping me so much, you have no idea <3


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (Y/n) and Vanitas sort of make a deal and she sets off to do her part with a little blue friend on her shoulder.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been a while, I am sorry;; Life kept me busy and to top it all off, there was huge storm while I was visiting my family, so I was stuck there with no way to return home for a few days.;;;  
> But here we are again and I actually like this chaper, I love writing the more chill interactions between (y/n) and Van. I hope you enjoy it, too!

The question hung in the air, causing (y/n)'s body to grow stiff from the tension.  

Vanitas’s back was still turned to her when his voice cut through the silence. “Even if I told you, would you believe me?” 

“I...” (y/n) wanted to say yes, but couldn't bring herself to do so. “Could you really blame me, if I had trouble to? It’s not like you have given me any reasons to trust you in the past”, she finally said and it wasn’t a lie. Vanitas was shady and erratic, the bruises on her neck were a testament to this. 

“You’re smart enough to trust your instincts on this. However...”, he spun around dramatically and looked at her. “no matter my actions, I have never lied to you.” 

(y/n) raised an eyebrow at that statement. “Riiight.” 

Vanitas’s hand went to his chest and his voice feigned shock. “Are you calling me a liar?” 

“You just told me not to trust you”, (y/n) answered in a serious tone while trying to hide the smile forming on her lips. 

 

“Alright, alright”, he raised his hands up in defense. “Either way, I gotta bounce, soo good luck with your hunt.” 

“Wait, what? I thought-” 

“Nope. The old man’s expecting me, better not make him wait”, he shrugged. “How about this: You keep looking by yourself and next time you’ll tell me what you found and I’ll confirm or debunk.” 

“Next time?”, (y/n) asked. He always showed up randomly, when was ‘next time’ going to be? 

“Don’t worry”, he stretched out his arms and a dark portal appeared behind him. “I’m certain our paths will cross once more, princess”, he walked backwards into the portal and disappeared. 

“What a drama queen...”, (y/n) muttered once his over-the-top exit was over. 

“I heard that”, his disembodied voice echoed around her. 

 

 

 

(y/n) hadn’t noticed how much time had passed since she started her search through the town, so when she returned to a busy market place with the sun slowly starting to set, a sound of surprise left her throat. 

The Flood resting on her shoulder turned its head to her at the sound but quickly looked around curiously again. Since its color change earlier it hadn’t shown any signs of hostility towards people, which was a big relief for (y/n). 

“You wouldn’t know where to go for some answers, would you?”, she asked it eventually. Of course, it stayed silent, so (y/n) kept on walking around aimlessly.  

She saw the top of the castle peek over the city roofs when an idea came to her mind. 

“Maybe I can talk to someone in there. Important people live in castles, right? Perhaps they know something.” 

She made her way to the clearing where the entrance was located. The castle’s size was intimidating and it reminded her of something Vanitas had said earlier: 

 _“_ _And don’t get me started on the human experiments in the castle! That’s some really messed up shit_ _.”_  

 

A lump formed in her throat. If this was true, would she want to set a foot inside that place? She was about to turn around when she overheard a conversation of two women passing her. 

“...mind if we stop by the library first? There are some books I want to pick up.” 

(y/n) almost facepalmed. Where do you go when you seek knowledge? A library. Why hadn’t she thought of this sooner? 

She decided to follow the women to the entry which happened to be inside the castle. She was a bit surprised by this, she thought castles weren’t accessible for normal people, but this one seemed very open. Well, aside from a few doors on the upper floor which were guarded.  

 

Once inside, she was greeted by a seemingly infinite amount of books stocked into enormous shelves which made the whole place seem like a labyrinth. There were several floors to explore, so (y/n) prepared herself for a long search. 

 

 

Hours had passed and (y/n) still hadn’t made any progress. She checked every shelf but nothing seemed to match the topics she was looking for. In fact, she hadn’t even found any recordings about the heartless, either. She knew there was a world order to protect and that keyblades and keybearers were mostly kept secret. But heartless were a universal phenomenon, people should know about them, right? 

She leaned back on the chair she sat on. She had claimed a table at the top floor and several piles of books covered it, some being open as she was just reading in them. 

(y/n) looked to the chair next to her where the Flood was curled up and asleep. A tired smile left her lips and her tired eyes slowly fell close, begging for some rest. 

 

“Please, can you tell me again?” 

(y/n) opened her eyes when a loud voice cut through the silence. She looked around but couldn’t seem to find its source. 

“Again? I have told it to you so many times already”, a second voice spoke up but it was softer than the first one. 

(y/n) got up from her chair and went to the railing; on the floor beneath her sat an elderly lady at a table, while a small girl was standing in front of her. A grey bun adorned her head, while the little girl had dark red hair falling to her shoulders. 

“Please, grandma!”, the little girl kept insisting, however, her grandmother didn’t seem to be angered. She had a loving smile on her lips as she petted the girl’s head. 

“Alright, as you wish. 

 _Long ago, people lived in peace, bathed in the warmth of light. Everyone loved the light. Then people began to fight over it. They wanted to keep it for themselves. And darkness was born in their hearts. The darkness spread, swallowing the light and many people's hearts. It covered everything, and the world disappeared. But small fragments of light survived... in the hearts of children. With these fragments of light, children rebuilt the lost world. It's the world we live in now. But the true light sleeps deep within the darkness. That's why the worlds are still scattered, divided from each other. But someday, a door to the innermost darkness will open. And the true light will return._ _So_ _listen, child. Even in the deepest darkness, there will always be a light to guide you. Believe in the light, and the darkness will never defeat you. Your heart will shine with its power and push the darkness away.”_  

 

(y/n) couldn’t believe her ears. This was the story about the Keyblade war, but it was different from what Master Eraqus has told her, Aqua, Terra and Ven. How did she even know about this, was she a keyblade weilder? She couldn’t just tell this story aloud in an open place, this was against the world order! 

“Miss?” 

Her thoughts were brought to a halt when tall man with light brown hair spoke up next to her. He was wearing a dark blue uniform, he was presumably one of the guards. 

“The library is closing for the night. Please make sure to leave within the next ten minutes.” 

“Oh, sure. Thanks” 

Once he left, (y/n)'s eyes flew to the chair next to her. She hadn’t thought of it before but she was pretty sure animals weren’t allowed in the library. But the Flood wasn’t there anymore. 

“Flood?”, she whispered. A small head peeked out from underneath the table and she sighed in relief.  

“Can you sneak out and meet me outside? I don’t think you’re allowed to be in here, we’re lucky the guard didn’t see you.” 

It gave a quick nod and disappeared into to blob in the ground, making its way out. 

 

(y/n) picked up the books and returned them to their respective shelves before heading for the exit.  

Once outside, the Flood landed on her shoulder and she made her way back to her rented room. She found what she was looking for. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had to resist every urge in the world to not write "I ain't calling you a truther" in the beginning.
> 
> I've said it a hundred times and I will say it again but the support this story is receiving makes me emotional ;v; You guys are all so kind, I don't know how to handle this <33


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